In this interview, Inlight Psychology content creator and undergraduate psychology student Kirsten, drawing from her extensive experience supporting domestic violence survivors through her work at Lifeline, speaks with Brooke McGorry. Brooke serves as a Primary Care DFV Navigator. She offers valuable insight into her crucial role in assisting primary care providers and those affected by domestic violence.
This article primarily focuses on males perpetrating violence towards women. However, we want to acknowledge that domestic violence affects individuals of all genders, and within both same sex and heterosexual relationships. It is a complex issue that can impact anyone, regardless of identity or background.
This article discusses topics related to domestic violence that may be distressing or triggering for some readers. If you need support, please contact Lifeline at 13 11 14 or 1800-RESPECT at 1800 737 732. Your safety and well-being are important.
Kirsten: What is the service that you're associated with and what do you primarily help with?
Brooke: The program I work in is run by the Central Eastern Sydney Primary Health Network, which has received funding from the Federal Department of Health and Aged Care (The Department). The program is called Domestic Family and Sexual Violence Assist (DFSV Assist). My role in this program is focused on supporting primary care practitioners to respond to patients experiencing domestic and family violence. The department recognised the importance of general practice (e.g. family doctors) and primary care (e.g. psychologists) in responding to people experiencing domestic and family violence, as they are the professional group that receives the largest number of first disclosures of domestic or family violence. Feedback from primary care providers showed that they often lacked confidence in asking further questions to patients experiencing domestic and family violence because they did not know how to respond or where to refer them.
K: I can see how important it would be for those primary care providers such as GPs and psychologists to feel equipped in supporting those going through such experiences. How do you support them in being able to do so?
B: There are two aspects to the program. The first is our education and training, we conduct either online or face-to-face with primary care providers. At the moment, our main audience includes general practitioners and psychologists, but we have also provided training for physiotherapists and speech pathologists, so it covers a wide range of professions. In that training, we cover how to create a safe space for patients experiencing domestic violence, what signs or symptoms to look out for, and how providers can respond to a disclosure, as well as referral pathways.
The second aspect of the program is my role as the DFV Navigator. I provide one-on-one consultations and a direct referral pathway to Women's Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Services, which is a statewide specialist domestic violence service for women experiencing domestic and family violence. The service also assists trans women and non-binary people who prefer to access a women’s service.
K: I imagine that for someone to feel comfortable sharing what they're going through, there needs to be a sense of safety and comfort with the person they are confiding in before they can take steps to access support. What might a first disclosure experience be like for someone sharing their story, as well as for the primary care providers?
B: There are several reasons why primary care providers receive the most disclosures. The first is that GPs typically have an ongoing relationship with their patients. They might be the practitioner who has seen these individuals since they were small children or who has seen generations of the same family. From patients and GPs, we often hear that relationship-based practice has a significant influence on whether patients feel comfortable disclosing what they are going through. Another reason GPs receive many disclosures is that the clinic may be the only place a woman can go on her own.
I should acknowledge that I will use the term ‘woman’ frequently due to the statistics showing that women are predominantly overrepresented as victim-survivors. However, domestic violence cuts across all kinds of relationships, and I also want to recognise that one type of violence often forgotten is family violence. This encompasses a wide range of relationships such as those between parents and children, siblings, or extended family members.
Coming back to the important role that GP’s play in disclosure, creating that safe environment is essential. Research shows that a woman's first disclosure is critical in terms of the social response she receives. If she does not feel believed or supported, she may never seek help again. A compassionate, non-judgmental approach from healthcare professionals can foster trust, empower women to take further steps, and provide validation of their experiences.
When considering safety, there are some practical steps we encourage GPs to take. I often emphasise the importance of having resources and posters in the practice, because this signals to patients that this is a place where they can safely discuss domestic violence. Women have often reported to me that seeing flyers and posters helps them feel safer to disclose and may have prompted a conversation they would have otherwise been unlikely to have. Validation is also a vital part of creating safety. It is so important to let the woman know she is believed, and that there is no judgment. We also want to be very careful about harmful phrases like, "You need to just leave him." Especially because for victims of domestic violence, leaving a relationship can often be more dangerous than staying. Women are most at risk during the three months after leaving a relationship. This is important for practitioners to keep in mind, especially when they receive disclosures from survivors who are not ready to take action steps immediately or do not feel safe to do so.
Practitioners often feel defeated when women do not want support or choose not to leave the relationship. I aim to reassure them that these are not the measures of success we should be aiming for. It can take considerable time before those action steps are possible, and we need to implement many safety measures for women to leave safely.
K: Simply having the courage to initiate that first disclosure is an incredibly profound moment. For someone to realise and recognise the situation they are in, while feeling safe enough to share the violence they have been experiencing, is truly powerful. In the media, domestic violence is often portrayed as involving only physical violence. However, we know this is just one of the many ways domestic and family violence can manifest. What is domestic violence, and how can it present in different forms?
B: That's a great question. When we're considering whether a relationship is violent or if there is domestic and family violence present, we look at whether there is a power imbalance and if one person has power or control over the other. As you may have seen, coercive control is a significant topic of conversation at the moment, particularly regarding its criminalisation. This is a clear example of how someone can use their relationship to control the other person's life.
Coercive control can involve isolation, such as not allowing a partner to see their friends or family. It can also involve financial control, where a woman may have no access to their bank account. For instance, if the partner owns a business, she might be working for it without being paid for her work. Domestic violence can also include sexual violence. We often perceive sexual violence as something perpetrated by a stranger on the street, but non- consensual sexual encounters and sexual violence can and do occur within consenting relationships.
It's also important to note, from an outside perspective, a relationship may appear safe and supportive, but this can be connected to the cycle of violence. For example, domestic violence may initially involve "love bombing," where the partner gives extravagant gifts or wants to spend every moment with their partner. Some phrases that might be used during this dynamic include: "Don't go out with the girls," "Don't see your family this weekend; spend it with me," "I just want to take care of you," or "You don't need to work; I can provide for you."
At the beginning of such a relationship, this behaviour may be perceived as positive and loving. However, this type of grooming allows the partner to gain control. The cycle can fluctuate throughout the relationship. It’s not always that people are being verbally or physically violent every day; rather, there might be a big explosion, followed by the partner being very apologetic, coming home with flowers, and promising never to do it again. As you can imagine, this unpredictability makes domestic violence relationships incredibly difficult to leave.
K: A woman may feel like she's constantly walking on eggshells because she never knows what to expect each day or which part of the cycle of violence she will encounter.
B: Yes, that cycle of violence can occur over years or months, or it can happen within a single day. At its core, domestic violence involves using various tactics to gain power and control over another person's life.
K: There are so many different ways it can present, and various dynamics are involved. As you mentioned before, it can also occur within a family, whether between siblings or a parent and child. What really stands out to me, and something I imagine psychologists and GPs need to be particularly mindful of, is that someone can initially, and sometimes throughout their entire relationship, present as though everything is okay and the relationship is safe. However, beneath the surface, there may be control, as well as physical, verbal, or emotional violence.
B: Absolutely. One of the best words I've heard to describe domestic violence is "insidious." As a society, we often picture domestic and family violence as incident-based, but much like the cycle I mentioned before, it truly permeates every aspect of the relationship. The dynamic is present all the time, yet it can look different at various points in time. Just because things appear good on the outside, or even during certain moments within the relationship, does not mean the cycle isn’t continuing.
K: Hearing all of this really makes me think about what we've been seeing in the media here in Australia this year, with many women having their lives taken by their partners. I'm curious to hear how that has possibly impacted your role and the organisation. Have you seen an increase in people seeking out services?
B: It has certainly been powerful having these stories in the media, as there is now greater awareness and understanding of the prevalence of domestic and family violence. In my role, I’m definitely having more nuanced conversations with practitioners who may not have noticed the signs of domestic violence before but are now starting to ask questions about the different forms of power and control within relationships. I think that discussions around coercive control and the legislation surrounding it have been really helpful. Yet, I’m mindful that there is still a lot of work to do in this area as a society. However, it is powerful that people are becoming more aware and open to the conversation, rather than it staying behind closed doors.
In terms of service provision, we have been able to broaden our services over the last couple of years. The Women's Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service (WDVCAS), also offers case management, support for women during the court process, up to and including the hearing, and are also co-located at 11 police stations across New South Wales. We have seen a significant increase in referrals, particularly from GPs. Traditionally, about 97 percent of referrals came from the police, as they are mandated to make a referral if they respond to domestic violence. However, we are now seeing a substantial rise in referrals from primary care practitioners.
K: With that in mind, I would love to hear more about the services you offer to psychologists and health professionals. How can they make use of your service?
B: My role is purely practitioner-facing, so I do not provide any direct client support or work. I conduct consultations with primary care providers, which involve helping them plan for an upcoming appointment with a patient they might be concerned about or an upcoming psychology session. We can discuss any questions they might have. For some practitioners, this might include uncertainty around how to create a safety plan. I can also take direct referrals, acting as a conduit between the healthcare system and the domestic violence sector.
Another significant part of my work, with the client's consent, is providing feedback to the referring practitioner to update them on what has happened. This can be beneficial for both the client and the practitioner, allowing for more long-term support and understanding.
K: As we speak, I can really see the important role you play in supporting those who are assisting individuals disclosing their experiences of domestic and family violence. What a beautiful job that is, because having the courage to share one's story while experiencing such violence is incredibly tough. However, hearing these disclosures and supporting someone going through domestic violence must also be really challenging in its own right. It makes me wonder if you often encounter issues like vicarious trauma among practitioners.
B: Yes, definitely. I think we all come to the helping professions for a reason, and working in domestic and family violence can be particularly challenging. As I mentioned before, many practitioners want the person to leave the relationship and be safe, but there are so many barriers to leaving, such as financial issues, custody concerns, and the current housing situation in Australia.There is an ethical tension between wanting that person to leave the relationship and recognising that it might not be possible, as leaving could potentially make her even more unsafe. A large part of my role involves validating the practitioner’s experience and acknowledging that hearing and responding to disclosures can be incredibly difficult to cope with. At the same time, I recognise the wonderful job they are doing in creating a safe space for someone to feel comfortable enough to share their story. In a way, it's similar to the validation and acknowledgement they are providing to their patients.
K: As we discussed earlier, this really highlights the safe environment that GPs and psychologists can create for their patients or clients, knowing that services like yours are there to support them as well. I truly believe there is incredible courage and bravery in speaking up and seeking support. However, before that even happens, the first step for someone experiencing domestic violence is likely to recognise what they are going through. With this in mind, I wonder what the subtle signs are that people can look out for to evaluate their situation. Are there certain questions they could ask themselves to assess their circumstances?
B: It can be incredibly difficult to notice the signs at first. Some of the more obvious signs in a partner or family member include having a very short fuse, getting angry quickly, or being verbally abusive. On the other hand, it can also appear as though things are moving really fast, with your partner wanting to spend all their time with you or buying you lots of gifts. You might start to feel as though you're losing control. Of course, this isn’t always a red flag, but it might be helpful to step back and think, ‘This is moving really quickly, I’m no longer seeing my friends, I’m not seeing my family, and I don’t feel like I have autonomy over my life.’ While it can be hard to notice these signs yourself when you're in the situation, friends and family members might pick up on them and share their concerns with you.
K: How can a concerned loved one or friend provide support in such a situation, and what services might they access if they are worried?
B: In terms of the support they can provide, the most important thing is to simply be there and stick around. This can be really challenging when supporting someone in a violent relationship, especially when it feels like you’re not being listened to. Often, the person experiencing violence does not have control or choice over whether they are honest with you or even if they can see you. They may be threatened or told they can't see you, or their partner might have access to their phone. So, just staying present and not walking away is crucial, as that’s often exactly what the person using violence wants to isolate their partner from their supportive network. It’s not about lecturing the person every time you see them; it's about reminding them that you’re there and ready to listen if they ever want to talk.
1800-RESPECT is nationwide number that can be especially helpful after hours, for both victim survivors, and for concerned loved ones to access advice or support. While WDVCAS operates 9 am to 5 pm, Monday to Friday, 1800-RESPECT is available 24/7. I also recommend seeking support for yourself because it can be exhausting and difficult to be in that outside position, deeply concerned and trying to support someone you love while possibly feeling powerless to help.
K: That power dynamic almost extends to the loved ones, leaving them feeling powerless, much like the dynamic within the relationship itself. It is devastating, but it must be comforting to know that they can call services like 1800-RESPECT to speak with someone who understands the complexities of domestic violence.
B: Yes, WDVCAS can also be particularly helpful in linking clients with housing support, legal advice, or financial counselling depending on what the client needs. Many in these situations are simply trying to survive day-to-day, and it can be incredibly challenging to find the time or strength to access multiple services for different needs. These referrals might include refuge or temporary accommodation and family law advice.
K: I can see how people may lack the time or simply feel too exhausted to engage with many services, so having that extra support would be incredibly helpful. This makes me reflect on the mental and physical impacts of being in a domestic violence relationship. Could you share your insights on this?
B: There are so many ways in which mental health is impacted by domestic and family violence. The first that comes to mind is anxiety. When thinking about the cycle of violence, those experiencing it often don't know what they will wake up to each day, resulting in a constant state of hypervigilance.
Additionally, perpetrators often gaslight the victim-survivor. Psychologists might hear clients say things like, "My partner says I'm crazy" or "He says I have borderline personality disorder." From a domestic violence perspective, this could be the partner placing blame on the victim-survivor, but it could also be a result of the victim behaving in certain ways due to a chaotic and potentially traumatic environment as a result of the violence.
In terms of physical concerns, injuries are a significant issue. Emerging research around non-fatal strangulation shows how this type of injury may not be immediately visible but can result in fatality weeks or even months after the incident. Self-medicating through drug and alcohol use is also common, as a way to numb the pain and cope with the impact of domestic violence. This is essentially a trauma response to the violence they are experiencing. Finally, the chronic stress of domestic violence can lead to major physical and mental health issues, such as long-term sleep problems, digestive issues, headaches, and many symptoms associated with a nervous system in a constant state of distress.
K: I can only begin to imagine how the body and mind respond to the daily uncertainty of whether physical, verbal, financial, or emotional abuse will occur. You’ve taken me through much of the journey, from what it is like to be in such a situation, to recognising the signs, finding the courage to disclose one’s story, and accessing appropriate services. Yet, I am mindful that even if someone manages to leave a domestic violence situation, the memories, hypervigilance, and impact of trauma often remain. The body keeps the score. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the role of therapy and other services in supporting those who seek help after leaving a domestic or family violence relationship.
B: Psychology and counselling services can play an incredibly profound role in helping victim-survivors regain their sense of self and, essentially, their life. It might sound simplistic, but even the validation from a therapist who listens and empathises with how hard it was to live through those situations, as well as how difficult it may have been to leave, is very powerful. With the client guiding the process and exploring what they are ready to address, sitting down and mapping their journey through life story work or talk therapy can help them gain an understanding of the past and feel empowered in the present. Unfortunately, we often see that people’s self-esteem is deeply eroded, and they may have become so reliant on their partner that, once they leave the relationship, they are very vulnerable and may be targeted by others who perpetrate violence. Therefore, I believe that working on building self esteem, resilience, and independence, as well as recognising the signs to look out for in the future, can be crucial in creating a safe and supportive path forward.
K: There seems to be a vital need to combine the creation of a safe therapeutic space where clients can explore the past and acknowledge what they've been through, using trauma- informed approaches. This includes a willingness to explore how the past may still be impacting them and guidance in regaining self-worth and self-esteem to build a bright future, despite all they have endured. The goal is to help them create a life where they feel safe and supported in pursuing their own goals and forming healthy relationships with people who genuinely love and respect them. With that in mind, if a practitioner is reading this and realises that they may have noticed some signs in a client or patient, or even finds their own well-being affected by exposure to disclosures, what would you say to them?
B: First of all, to practitioners, I would say that you are not alone. This work can feel incredibly isolating, especially when you’re working in a one-on-one setting where confidentiality is crucial. You are doing incredibly important and valuable work, but it’s just as important to take care of yourself.
K: I often say, "You can't pour from an empty cup." Practitioners must prioritise their own well-being to continue offering the best support to others.
B: That's right. So, if you need to seek supervision, debrief, or access specific advice, please reach out to the services I have mentioned and are linked below for support.
K: Finally, for those who have read this blog post detailing coercive control, the signs to look out for, and the mental health impacts, and are now realising this might be what they are experiencing, what do you think would be helpful for them to hear?
B: You are not alone, and we are here to support you, guided by what you feel ready to do. We understand that you may not have control over your situation right now. So, if you reach out to services like the organisations I’ve mentioned, we won't tell you to leave or that you must go to the police. Instead, we will express our concern for you and ask, "What can we do to help?" You don’t have to go through this alone.
K: What comes to mind as I hear you talk is that there is no shame in asking for help, and it is never the fault of the victim-survivor.
B: Yes, it can happen to anyone, and everyone deserves to reach out for support. We are here to help.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, support is available. You can reach out to Lifeline at 13 11 14 for confidential crisis support at any time. For professional counselling, information, and support services, contact 1800-RESPECT at 1800 737 732. You can also call 1800 WDVCAS to access the local Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service. You will be prompted to enter your client’s postcode, and this will automatically direct you to the local service in their area.
Remember, you are not alone, and there are people ready to help. Inlight Psychology also offers trauma-informed therapy for those seeking ongoing support in a safe and understanding environment.
Inlight Psychology is a clinical psychology practice in Bondi Junction, offering therapy to individuals with a variety of concerns and presentations. The team at Inlight has a strong interest in relationship and interpersonal issues and use a relational and attachment lens in their therapeutic work. They are well informed in trauma and domestic violence/partner violence, with a commitment to ongoing professional development in these areas.
If you would like to book an appointment with a psychologist, you can contact Inlight Psychology on (02) 8320 0566 or contact@inlightpsychology.com.au
To learn more about the team, click here: https://www.inlightpsychology.com.au/team
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